Redneck Medical Terms

* Artery………………….The study of paintings.
* Benign………………….What you be after you be eight.
* Bacteria………………..Back door to cafeteria.
* Barium………………….What doctors do when patients die.
* Cesarean Section…………A neighborhood in Rome.
* Catscan…………………Searching for Kitty.
* Cauterize……………….Made eye contact with her.
* Colic…………………..A sheep dog.
* Coma……………………A punctuation mark.
* D&C…………………….Where Washington is.
* Dilate………………….To live long.
* Enema…………………..Not a friend.
* Fester………………….Quicker than someone else.
* Fibula………………….A small lie.
* Genital…………………Non-Jewish person.
* G.I.Series………………World Series of military baseball.
* Hangnail………………..What you hang your coat on.
* Impotent………………..Distinguished, well known.
* Labor Pain………………Getting hurt at work.
* Medical Staff……………A Doctor’s cane.
* Morbid………………….A higher offer than I bid.
* Nitrates………………..Cheaper than day rates.
* Node……………………I knew it.
* Outpatient………………A person who has fainted.
* Pap Smear……………….A fatherhood test.
* Pelvis………………….Second cousin to Elvis.
* Post Operative…………..A letter carrier.
* Recovery Room……………Place to do upholstery.
* Rectum………………….Darn near killed him.
* Secretion……………….Hiding something
* Seizure…………………Roman emperor.
* Tablet………………….A small table.
* Terminal Illness…………Getting sick at the airport.
* Tumor…………………..More than one.
* Urine…………………..Opposite of you’re out
* Varicose………………..Near by