Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None ‘o yo’ freakin’ bitness!
Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.
Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don’t last as long as light bulbs.
Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Both of them.
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in and the other to say “Fabulous.’
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Q: How many Lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
Q: How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: “Twelve. Ya got a problem with dat?”