486 – The average IQ needed to understand a P.C. state – of – the – art computer you can’t afford.
Obsolete – Any computer you own.
Microsecond – The time it takes for your State – of – the – art computer to become obsolete.
Syntax Error – “Hello, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.
GUI (pronounced “gooey”) – What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
Computer Chip – Any starchy food stuff consumed in mass quantities while programming.
Keyboard – The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse – An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy – The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Hard Drive- The sales technique employed by most computer salesmen.
Portable Computer – A device invented to force business men to work at home, on vacation and on business trips.
Disk Crash – A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User – Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update – A quick method of trashing ALL of your current software.